Commercial breaks
by Nyotarules
Summary: The Enterprise advertising agency, to boldy advertise what no other agency has advertised before. Aiming for 52 commercials.
1. Chapter 1

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's notes – I'm sitting up in bed with a cold watching tv, a shampoo commercial comes on, and it made me think what would be the Star Trek version in the 23****rd**** century? Let the imagination roll…**

**Head and shoulders shampoo**

**Tellarite version **

"Hey you, yes you sitting down in front of the holovision, can't you see you have nasty white dust sitting on your shoulders, go online and order some 'Head and shoulders' you lazy bum**!"**

**Orion version**

"Enhance your orgasms by washing your hair with 'Head and shoulders' and make love in the shower…OOOOOO , yes, yes yes!

**Betazoid version (sorry this one is for telepaths only)**

**Andorian version**

"To keep your hair silky white and dandruff free, wash with 'Head and Shoulders', sold at your local Pink Skin store."

**Terran version, Location Kingdom of England**

"Wash with 'Head and shoulders' and keep your afro dandruff free"

*(Little child watching commercial…'Mum come look there is a black woman on tv advertising shampoo…"

Mother's response.."And to think we had to wait 300 years to see this day").

**Klingon version**

"I said wash with Head and shoulders not remove head from shoulders. Qaplah!"

**Vulcan version**

It is only logical to use a product that reduces the shedding of dead skin cells from the scalp. Head and shoulders enhances this possibility by XXXXX%"

*Yes I am making a point


	2. Chapter 2

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's notes – I've hit a brick wall with my other stories but I will get back to them, until then, let's have some fun. Thanks for the encouragement folks! Let the imagination roll…..**

Chris Pike – Senior Partner of Enterprise advertising agency

S'chn T'gai Spock – Manager of Enterprise advertising agency

Jim Kirk – Senior Chief Copywriter (he thinks he should be manager after smoking Vulcan mediation herb TeePaw which makes humans high but calms Vulcans)

Len McCoy – Personnel Manager

Nyota Uhura – Head of holo-graphic design

Montgomery Scott – Information systems manager

Charlene Masters – Assistant IS manager

Carol Marcus – Holographic designer

Hikaru Sulu – Copy writer

Janice Rand – Office Manager

Pavel Chekov – Intern

Pike – OK folks well done on our first account, our clients are happy, shampoo sales are up by 65% across the quadrant. Even the Klingons love it!

Spock – Sales have increased 65.67% Chief

Kirk – Oh yeah, can't forgot that .67% might affect your bonus

Uhura – Bonuses will be shared by everyone at the agency Kirk.

Kirk (whispers to Uhura) – Course you would know, since you're knocking boots with boss here.

Uhura glares at Kirk, smirks and whispers back – Carol turned your raggedy ass down again?

Pike - …And so onto our next big account. This is a big one, the brand is 320 years old and has gone through a lot of changes on Earth but now they want to go universal. They figure 200 years since Earth met the Vulcans and it's a big quadrant out there it's time to meet new customers.

So folks go and sell 'McDonald's to the universe!

P.S I know nothing about the advertising world beyond watching 'Mad Men' but who knows what the business will be like in 200 years anyway lol


	3. Chapter 3

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's notes – The rest of the chapters will be mainly adverts, the characters will pop in now and again but they are not the stars of this show LOL**

**McDonalds (ancient 21****st**** century slogan 'I'm loving it')**

**Tellarite version **

"I don't know why it's called 'fast food', it took the McDonald's server two minutes to serve me lunch. I'm not loving it but I'm not hating it either."

**Orion version (using ancient classical Terran song)**

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and there like its better than yours, damn right its better than yours. I can teach you but McDonald's will charge."

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

"The Pink skins and Brown skins call this food? The planet Andor challenges them to a duel for the best fish fillet burger. We say McDonald's bring it on!"

**Terran Version**

"McDonalds….. we're still loving it... just about"

**Klingon Version**

"Mack son of Donald expect warriors to eat meat that did not die in battle?"

**Vulcan version**

"It is not logical to use credit resources to purchase unhealthy food but if you insist on doing so McDonald tofu burgers are a decent staple for trips to the desert**."**

**Trill (joined) Version**

"I suffer this Terran food to please my host"

**Trill (unjoined) version**

"Is eating this another test from the Symbiosis commission?"

**Author's notes - I am not a McDonalds fan but it's a very global product :o)**


	4. Chapter 4

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Victoria's Secret underwear (21****st**** century online slogan 'Love me - Make it a night to remember')**

**Tellarite female version **

"If Victoria has a secret then why is she sharing it with others, what other secrets are Terran females hiding?!"

**Tellarite male version **

"Who knew Terran females where so accommodating….. What is their agenda, why is it a secret?!"

**Orion version (using ancient classical Terran song)**

"My underwear brings all the boys to the yard, and there like its better than yours, damn right its better than yours. I can teach you but Victoria will charge."

**Betazoid version (use your telepathic imagination, if you're psi null too bad)**

**Andorian female version**

"We do not need to entice our men, they need to entice us**!"**

**Andorian male version**

"Victoria has revealed her secret…. We thank her**"**

**Terran Version**

"Still sharing her secret's one night at a time."

**Klingon Version**

"Vik To Ria reveal your secret or we will send you to Stovokor… after we bed you"

**Vulcan version**

"We find Victoria's illogical secret aesthetically pleasing**."**

**Vulcan Ponn Farr version**

"Riiiiiiiipppppppppp**."**


	5. Chapter 5

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**A touch close to T rating**

**Durex condoms (ok the 23****rd**** century might have more effective birth control methods but use your imagination)**

**Pike **– Our new Head of Market Research Ms Gaila has some ideas for this product. Give her your attention troops!

**Gaila** – Helllloooo you gorgeous sentient beings, as you might know Orions are immune from most known galactic, sexually transmitted ailments so we don't have a tradition of using barrier methods for health reasons but we do like to use them for a little fun

**Kirk (whispering to McCoy)** – She can have a little fun with me any time she wants.

**McCoy (whispering back) **– still no play with Marcus kid?

**Kirk (mumbles)** – don't hate cos you got a Vulcan cold fish in your bed at night

**McCoy (smirks)** – jealousy does not become you Kirk, I'm T'Shira's bondmate, that's the only logical reason she needs for sex every night.

**Kirk (stares back in awe) **

**Gaila - .. **So here are some suggestions that might be useful for your ad campaign.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Tellarite version **

"Durex – at last a Terran invention that has some uses…"

**Orion version**

"Durex – a new toy from the people of Earth, to enhance your pleasure"

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

"Keep your antennas warm at night …use Durex"

**Terran version**

"For your galactic pleasure"

**Klingon version**

"Protection for warriors"

**Vulcan version**

"Durex…a fascinating Terran invention, various green shades accommodated for your _lok_"


	6. Chapter 6

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's Notes: I've decided to do a commercial break per week. Since it's now week 7 for 2015 I'll post another chapter this week to catch up. The challenge is to aim for 52 commercials, so let me know what products to promote even if I've never heard of em! I'll start with the suggestions already given.**

**Got Milk? (ignore the bad grammar..go with it)**

**Tellarite version**

"Of course I Got milk? Go get your own**"**

**Orion version (using ancient classical Terran song)**

"My MILK will bring everyone to the yard, and there like its better than yours, damn right its better than yours. I might teach you and not even charge"

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

"Milk..a Terran substance to whiten your hair…"

**Terran Version**

"Yes we 'got milk', can we get something else now?

**Klingon Version**

"Bovine juice – a drink for warriors!**"**

**Vulcan version**

"Got milk"? Despite the incorrect grammar the question implies a request for a milky substance produced from Terran bovine, since Vulcans are vegetarian we prefer Milk produced from other Terran sources such as soy, rice, almond or oats."

**P.S I haven't neglected my other stories, I'll get back to them, S/U need their naughty fix, Sarek needs a wife and I'll deal with McCoy in the distant future. :o)**


	7. Chapter 7

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Starfleet Academy – Ex Astris, Scientia (from the stars knowledge or knowledge comes from the stars)**

**Tellarite version **

"To boldy argue where no one has argued before… well not as good as us Tellarites!"

**Orion version**

"According to Gaila it's a great place to meet guys, gals or any other sentient beings"

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

"Join now…We cannot leave all the fighting to the Pink skins!"

**Terran version**

"The opportunity of a lifetime"

**Klingon version**

"Graduates..the Klingon military will assist you to Sto-vo-kor**"**

**Vulcan version**

"The more logical the students, the better for the Federation"


	8. Chapter 8

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's notes – Real life is affecting my muse, perhaps when the clock goes forward the extra daylight will make a difference to my creative juices. Meanwhile I am still aiming for 52 commercials!**

**Life Insurance - Red Shirt Life Insurance**

**Tellarite version**

"Guaranteed to pay out…!"

**Orion version**

"Well red does look sexy with green skin"

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

" Red, white and blue – the colours for brave Andorians"

**Terran version**

"The colour that rewards others after you have gone"

**Klingon version**

"Insurance for warriors!"

**Vulcan version**

"There is 92.7 per cent certainty your clan will financially benefit from this policy."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**KY Jelly (I say no more)**

**Tellarite version (male)**

"Good moisture for one's beard"

**Tellarite version (female)**

"Keeps skin soft and leathery"

**Orion version **

"Let your green skin shine!"

**Betazoid version**

"…"

**Andorian version (female)**

"Only needed with Terran males"

**Andorian version (male)**

"Keep your antenna well oiled"

**Terran version**

"Still works"

**Klingon version**

"Eliminate those dull ridges…or lose your head"

**Vulcan version (male)**

"A useful substance during that special Time"

**Vulcan version (female)**

"Additional proof that Terrans are not completely illogical"


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's Note** – It is Easter time in my part of the world, one of the traditions is to enjoy chocolate Easter eggs. Here is my little tribute to the tradition.

**Chocolate Easter eggs**

**Tellarite version**

"Enjoyable in a mud bath, after a vibrant altercation."

**Orion version **

"Useful for seducing Terran females….whether egg shaped or not."

**Betazoid version**

"…"

**Andorian version **

"Tastes disgusting…."

**Terran version**

"Yummy and not just for Easter!"

**Klingon version**

"The darker the chocolate, the better the egg.. Qaplah!"

**Vulcan version **

"Recommended for medicinal purposes only - do not consume whilst driving, flying or operating machinery"


	11. Chapter 11

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Coca cola – 2015 is 100 years of the Coke bottle. I grew up with the famous Hilltop coke advert 'I'd like to buy the world a coke' same tune as 'I'd like to teach the world to sing' by The New Seekers, in this case the advert song preceded the pop song! (who remembers this, hands up old timers lol). So I'm going to use this slogan and give it a Star trek 23****rd**** century twist. For those who don't know the original words**

"I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it love

Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony

I'd like to buy the world a coke and keep it company

(It's the real thing!)"

**Tellarite version **

"I'd like to teach the Federation to fight in perfect harmony, but you can buy your own coke!"

**Orion version**

"I'd like to teach the galaxy to love, mate and drink Coke at the same time"

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

"I'd like to teach the Pink and Brown skins to make better drinks...Andorian ale plus coke is the real thing!

**Terran version**

"Still teaching the galaxy one planet at a time…always Coca cola"

**Klingon version**

"Bearable with prune juice**"**

**Romulan version**

"This beverage is illegal**"**

**Vulcan version**

"We continue to endeavour to teach logic to the rest of the galaxy, the inclusion of the Terran beverage Coca Cola is irrelevant."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Kentucky Fried chicken (20****th**** century slogan, finger lickin good)**

**Tellarite version **

"We tolerate this greasy fowl to keep good relations with the Terrans"

**Orion version **

"Eat and then lick your finger and others parts of your body…mmmmm**"**

**Betazoid version**

"…"

**Andorian version ***

"Kentucky Fried Fish….eat with relish"

**Terran version**

"Still finger lickin goodness!"

**Klingon version**

"Fried Terran fowl….better served raw"

**Vulcan version **

"We do not eat creatures that had parents"

**Author's Notes** – my theory is an ice planet like Andor must eat a lot of fish, don't ask me why lol


	13. Chapter 13

Characters – As many canon characters as possible and some made up ones

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's Notes – Tomorrow, May 7****th****, is the General Election in the UK, now how would things be handled in the Star Trek universe? Let's check!**

**Elections/Political campaigns**

**Tellarite version **

"Vote for your local representative, this is your chance to insult his mother if he broke his promises after the last election!"

**Orion version**

"If they are too ugly for sex then they don't deserve your vote"

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

"The only honourable politician is one who does not speak"

**Terran version**

"Get out and vote, keep Terra Prime out of government!"

**Klingon version**

"The bat'leth decides who rules the Empire**"**

**Romulan version**

"Leave politics to the Emperor and the Senate**"**

**Vulcan version**

"You may vote for any representative as long as they follow the rule of logic and the ways of Surak"


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Muesli – origin Terran Swiss-German breakfast dish made from rolled oats, grains, dried fruit, seeds and nuts mixed with milk, yoghurt or fruit juice**

**Tellarite version **

"Rub it on your skin when taking a mud bath"

**Orion version **

"Tastes better when eaten naked**"**

**Betazoid version**

"…"

**Andorian version **

"Freeze and make ice cubes then add Andorian ale""

**Terran version**

"Not just for the Swiss or Germans"

**Klingon version**

"Food for farm animals"

**Vulcan version **

"Acceptable import from Terra"

**Author's Notes** – I had some 'Alpen', this morning it was my muse lol


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's Notes** – Read in the papers today London is the top destination city for visitors – Go London! Now how would I sell my hometown to the Star Trek universe?

**Tourism – London**

**Tellarite version**

Go to Speaker's Corner, Hyde Park; best place for debates, insults and heckling. If you insist on spending money go to a local pub, they are everywhere!

**Orion version**

A great place to get laid! All species welcome*

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

Too damn hot in the winter and too damn wet in the summer!**

**Terran version**

Still the best city in the Federation!

**Klingon version**

Too many Terrans, not enough Klingons

**Vulcan version**

An illogical city full of illogical people on an illogical planet – quite fascinating

**Author's notes **– Next city to promote – Las Vegas!

*21st century London is one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world, (40% are non white) so in two hundred years aliens will be just another face in the crowd lol

** We Brits love to talk about the weather cos its always changing


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Tourism – Las Vegas (old saying - what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas)**

**Tellarite version**

A great place for fights! But why are they charging the audience?

**Orion version**

You mean we have to keep our holiday a secret?

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

The Andorian version of hell

**Terran version**

What happens in Vegas still stays in Vegas!

**Klingon version**

What! No fights to the death at the MGM...and the Terrans expect people to pay?!

**Vulcan version**

An illogical city, full of illogical people on an illogical planet – the decent summer weather is its only redeeming feature

**Author's notes **– Next city to promote – New York!


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Tourism – New York City (old saying – The Big Apple)**

**Tellarite version**

A great place where you can quarrel for free! Especially with the drivers of the yellow hovercabs

**Orion version**

So many beings, not enough time

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

Great for your summer vacations between Earth months December and January

**Terran version**

Still a great place to spend your credits!

**Klingon version**

Take your bat'leth with you, you may need it

**Vulcan version**

An illogical city full of illogical people on an illogical planet – there were no gigantic _malus domestica _

**Author's notes **– I love NYC, all compliments and insults are the creation of the writer!


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Tourism – Antarctica**

**Tellarite version**

You have to be drunk on Andorian ale to visit this place

**Orion version**

You have to be drunk on Andorian ale and have three Andorian lovers to visit this place

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

At last…Heaven on Earth!

**Terran version**

Why?

**Klingon version**

Battle the elements at your peril!

**Vulcan version**

Literally hell on Earth


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Coconut oil**

**Tellarite version**

We would rather eat the coconuts

**Orion version**

Sleek, sweet, shiny, sexy!

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

Freeze and add to Andorian ale!

**Terran version**

Great for the skin, hair and cooking!

**Klingon version**

We eat it, since we have no desire to smell like Terrans!

**Vulcan version**

A logical Terran product to keep one's hair straight and shiny, or enhance waves and curls. It is also has nutritious elements.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Hagan Daaz ice cream**

**Tellarite version**

This stuff is too cold, but we will tolerate it!

**Orion version**

Ice cream, you scream, we all cream…..

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

All flavours welcome on Andor

**Terran version**

So many flavours, so little time!

**Klingon version**

Serve it with rokeg blood pie!

**Vulcan version**

This is not nutritious; however we recommend the plomeek flavour


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Red Velvet cake**

**Tellarite version**

We demand Brown Velvet cake!

**Orion version - female**

All that frosting, place it on your upper and lower lips and other sensual places….

**Orion version - male**

…and then lick it off

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

We welcome Blue Velvet cake to Andor!

**Terran version**

Yummy!

**Klingon version**

Sweet and sugary…. just like the Federation..not for warriors!

**Vulcan version**

This is not nutritious; however we recommend Plomeek Velvet cake

AN: Ok its one of my favourite desserts ;o)


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's Notes **

It's been almost five weeks, did not meant to neglect my little fluff piece. This one is inspired by a karaoke party I went to last weekend, we had a lot of fun!

**Karaoke – songs of the Federation and beyond**

**Tellarite version **

"Let's make love after the fight, you big snouted sexy thing"

Favourite Terran old song – "I did it my way"

**Orion version**

"Don't you wish your body was hot like mine"

Favourite Terran old song – 'Bootylicious'

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

"Freeze me up tonight"

Favourite Terran old song – 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow'

**Terran version**

"We are the champions my friends."

(In recognition that Earth seems to dominate the Federation lol)

**Klingon version**

"Bite me, then fight me**"**

Favourite Terran version

'Onward Klingon soldiers marching as to war' (Ok they changed this one up)

**Vulcan version**

"Let logic reign"

Terran preference – 'War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing'

(Vulcans do not have favourites)


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's Notes **

**X factor is back again, series 12, it's not as entertaining as it used it be but just imagine a Star Trek version lol**

**X Factor**

**Tellarite version **

Tonight on your holovisions 'T Factor' – who will sing the best and who will convince the judges with the better argument that they deserve to go to the next round – Watch it tonight since you have nothing better to do!

**Orion version**

XXX factor – tune in and vote for the best singer and dancer, and the sexiest competitor!

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

Ice – factor! Its icy and cold outside, perfect weather for settling down to watch 'Ice factor'! The best singers and performers will have you screaming until you are blue in the face!

**Terran version**

Series 239, yes the show is still going and folks are still watching, who will get their fifteen minutes of fame? Tune in tonight!

**Klingon version**

The battle of the vocal chords – come and be challenged to a sing off – Qaplah**!**

**Vulcan version**

Another example of emotional illogical behaviour, courtesy of Earth. Suitable for social studies in Homo Sapiens.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Autumn Equinox (Northern ****hemisphere, Earth)**

**Tellarite ****version**

The leaves on the Terran trees will be turning from green to brown – a proper colour at last!

**Orion version**

Head for the Terran tropics it is still hot, you can show off your gorgeous body!

**Betazoid ****version**

" "

**Andorian ****version**

Still too darn hot!

**Terran ****version**

Countdown to Christmas begins!

**Klingon version**

We will invade when summer returns!*

**V'Tosh version**

At this time of the year on the Terran calendar, travel to the equatorial region is highly recommended

AN: *Its canon that Klingons don't like the cold! lol


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Fanfiction**

**Tellarite version**

If your comments are too nice we will delete them

**Orion version – female**

More erotica please!

Please insert yourself as the love interest of the canon character, it's the closest thing to sex with them you will ever get!

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

Please do not destroy the Aenar we are still here

There is more to Andor than a planet full of ice

Please note Andorians do not only drink Andorian ale

**Terran version**

When commenting beware nasty PADD virus from writers.

When writing beware nasty PADD virus from readers.

Please state when one is diverting from the canon material

Please do not insert any Mary Sues

Please do not insert yourself as the love interest of the canon character

**Klingon version**

Acceptable main plot device – Klingon warrior seeks battle, Klingon warrior wins battle, Klingon warrior composes opera about the battle

Unacceptable main plot devices – Federation beats Klingon/Kirk beats Klingon/Romulan beats Klingon/Federation and Klingon Empire hold ceasefire

Anything about tribbles

**Vulcan version**

We are not interested in illogical tales that divert from the canon material

AN: Yeah I'm mocking us writers, including myself!


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**L'Oreal (in 2015 one of the top five cosmetic brands, will it last till 23****rd**** century… who knows?)**

**Antique by-line-'Because you're worth it'**

**Tellarite version**

'If course I know I am worth it!'

**Orion version – female**

'I'm too sexy for this Terran cosmetic'

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

'Does this come in various shades of blue, or are you still pandering to the Pink Skin market?'*

**Terran version**

'Yes you are still worth it'!

**Vulcan version**

Although the V'Tosh do not follow illogical Terran beauty standards we do appreciate beauty. This brand is welcome to our system as long it caters to all melanin types.

**Author's Note**

***As a woman of colour finding good makeup in various shades of brown can still be a challenge, but it's better than it was 20 years ago**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Personal communication messages **

**Tellarite version**

'Leave a message after the tone; I might get in touch if you are worth the effort

**Orion version – for Terrans**

'Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me'

**Orion version – for everyone else**

'Hello, leave a message after the orgasm'

**Betazoid version**

" "

**Andorian version**

'What do you want?

**Terran version**

'Reach out and touch'

**Klingon version**

'Defend yourself! Qapla!**'**

**Vulcan version**

'Greetings, _Dif-tor heh sumusa'_


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

**Author's Notes**

**Mothering Sunday aka Mother's day today in the UK**

**Tellarite version **

Be good to your Mother, who else gave you the best insults!

**Orion version**

My mother is hot, she deserves the best lovers!

**Betazoid version **

" "

**Andorian version**

We have two mothers, so be doubly appreciative

**Terran version**

Happy Mother's day to the United Kingdom (trust us to be different)

**Vulcan version**

It is logical to be respectful to one's _ko-mekh_, one day she may be _pidkom _(clan matriarch) and choose your bondmate…..

**An: Yeah, it has been awhile ;o)**


End file.
